Total Drama Crack!
by TotalDramaObsessiveFanGirl9
Summary: A bunch of crack pairings. I was gonna post it another day, but since it's writing spree day I figured why not?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I have said I am a huge fan of crack pairings before, and I have lots of ideas for many pairings, so I figured I would just do a bunch of one-shots, purely dedicated to crack pairings!**

**Total Drama Crack!**

**One-Shot 1: Courtney/Tyler**

**I thought of this, courtesy of my crazy obsessed friends. Shout out to Tyler and Danielle, my friends that are just as obsessed as me! You guys rock! **

**Disclaimer: if I owned Total Drama, these might have a chance of becoming canon!**

As Courtney was returning to school after World Tour, she was dreading it. Not only would people no doubt make fun of her for what she did, but no doubt would more people hate her for flipping out on Gwen. She was just high on emotions and lost it. But she didn't know who else would end up going to her school…

The red-clad wannabe jock was looking forward to his first day of Senior Year at his new school. He was going to try out for the track team, now that he has "honed his athletic abilities to the max." He was hoping to get a girlfriend, too. He and Lindsay broke up after Total Drama World Tour, Tyler just wanting to be with someone that could actually remember his name for more than one episode. Luckily, Lindsay took it well. Tyler had no idea that he would meet a familiar face…

Courtney's POV

Great. Back to school. After my less-than-warm reception last year, I don't think this year will be any better.

(A/N: Total Drama Island and Total Drama Action took place the previous summer.)

I'm just glad Duncan isn't here. I just hope that nobody from that death-trap of a "reality" show is here. The last thing I, and everyone else needs is a reminder of it. Ugh, this year should be the year I make this school mine, but let's see how _that_ goes.

Tyler's POV (as he's walking into school)

A new year, a new me! This will be the greatest year ever! Gold track trophy, here I—what? Is that Courtney? I didn't know she went here. Cool, someone I know! "Hey, Courtney!"

Courtney's POV

Everybody hates me. Just like I thought. Goodbye, class valedictorian.

"Hey, Courtney!"

Oh, my god, why?

Nobody's POV

Courtney stiffened up at the voice calling out her name. She recognized it from Total Drama, but couldn't quite picture his face, until she saw a familiar bright red track suit.

"Tyler?!"

"Yep! What's up?"

"What are you doing here?!" Courtney whisper-yelled. She hoped that no one saw them together.

"I just got transferred here after World Tour. What about you?"

"Actually, I have always gone here."

"Sweet! Can you show me around then?" Tyler said, winking at Courtney.

"Eww no. Aren't you dating 'Lindsiot?'" She replied indignantly.

"No, we broke up. I wanted someone smarter. Hey, you're pretty smart, right?" he asked innocently.

"Yeah, but I don't like you!"

"Why not?"

"Ummm…" Why couldn't she think of an answer? "Because you are an accident-prone disaster waiting to happen, and besides, I'm trying to _forget_ the past two summers." She was pretty satisfied with that answer, because it was true. But why couldn't she think of an answer sooner?

**Later**

A fire drill was going on. They always had five or six in the beginning of each year. Not that Courtney really cared. She was just happy to be outside on such a beautiful autumn day, until she saw Tyler not too far away. She looked away quickly, but he still saw her. He came up to her, almost tripping over his own feet. Despite what he thought, his athletic skills really hadn't improved.

"Hey, Courtney! Nice day, huh?" he asked.

"I forgot to mention earlier, I have a restraining order against everyone from "that show" so I'll sue you if you get any closer!" she lied. She would've if she could have, but her lawyers wouldn't allow it.

The fire drill was over already and everyone started walking back inside. Courtney hurried, suddenly sick of being outside. Tyler still was trying to talk to her. When they were almost inside, he tried to start walking on his hands to impress Courtney. He accidentally bumped into her, but still kept his balance.

"Tyler, what did I tell you? I'm going to sue you for everything you have!" she yelled at him.

However, Tyler was unfazed, but went tumbling down, spooked by her outburst. Courtney couldn't help but giggle a bit at his clumsiness. It was kind of endearing. Wait, WHAT? Courtney mentally slapped herself, but still helped him back up.

"Tyler, are you okay?" she asked concernedly.

"Of course! Just a balance check." He replied confidently.

"To your face?" Courtney asked amused.

"Well…" he began.

"Oh no, I'm gonna be late!" Courtney said before running off and effectively ending the conversation.

"She so wants me."

**I like writing crack! Next up, Courtney/Geoff! Also taking requests for this.**


	2. Chapter 2

**My second attempt at writing a Total Drama crack pairing, and I hope this one turns out better than the last one! This one is Courtney/Geoff. I know, I know, it's the second Courtney one, but I love writing as Courtney! I find it easy to write them in high school, so that's where this one will be. Takes place AU from chapter 1. Again, an idea I came up with due to the help of my awesome friends, one of which has just gotten a Fanfiction account! Yay!**

**Disclaimer: Still working on it but as for right now, I don't own Total Drama. I WILL own it one day! Mark my words! MARK THEM!**

**A/N: This takes place at the same time as my previous one-shot, but obviously Tyler didn't come to her school. This is also based off of my school's previous pep rallies, therefore the Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors compete by grade in different events.**

**Total Drama Crack! Ch. 2**

**Courtney/Geoff**

Courtney's POV

Ugh, the pep rally. Why am I dreading it? Because I'm NOT IN IT, AGAIN! I would be such an asset to my class's team, but no. They wouldn't let me on because I get "overly competitive." Seriously, when do I ever get overly competitive? Never, that's when. I am perfectly competitive. If I was on the team, we would crush the Freshmen, destroy the Sophomores, and pulverize the Juniors with ease!

Geoff's POV

Woohoo! A new school! And the pep rally! I wonder if I'll meet anyone I know? I hope so, and who knows? Maybe they'll be from Total Drama. How awesome would that be?

Nobody's POV

As everyone went out to the football field, there was an air of excitement. The principal decided to have the pep rally outside because the weather was so perfect, and every year the pep rally made classes shorter so the students could go home when they usually did. When Courtney got outside she started making her way to the bleachers where the non-participating students would sit and root for their grade. Courtney sat front-row, like she always did. Not many people wanted to sit next to her, due to her being "Courtney from Total Drama" and some just because she got "overly enthusiastic," which was what the teachers called "screaming your head off whenever your team was falling even the slightest bit behind and many times even when they were ahead."

Geoff's POV

Sweet football field! Hey, is that… Courtney? Cool! Why is she sitting all alone? I'll sit with her!

Nobody's POV

Courtney was too busy watching the teams set up the pie and donut eating contests, the tug-of-war, and the relay race, her face full of envy and competitive-ness to notice a large cowboy hat making its way over to where she sat.

"Hey, is this spot taken?"

Courtney jumped about a mile-high after hearing that voice. It startled her and she certainly recognized it. She looked at who it was and mentally groaned, but forced a smile on her face anyway. "Hi, Geoff! I didn't know you went to school here! You can sit there."

"Hey, Courtney! Yeah, I just moved here! My dad got transferred here for work! So far, so good, I'd say. I can't wait for this thing to start! This is going to be awesome!" Geoff explained excitedly.

Courtney's POV

A few teachers and students started throwing balled-up school t-shirts into the bleachers. As usual, many students were just about fighting for them. "Right here, dude!" Geoff called to the closest thrower. Two t-shirts were tossed at him, and he caught them both. He immediately gave one to me, which I accepted gratefully. I had never got one before, believe it or not.

He unfolded the other one, stood up, and swung it around his head. "Woohoo! This is awesome!" No, it was embarrassing!

The relay race was about to begin. "Geoff, sit down! It's going to start!" I hissed at him. The race started, it was a tag-team three-leg race, and the Juniors were taking the lead. Without thinking, I stood up and cupped my hands around my mouth…

Geoff's POV

"COME ON, SENIORS! HUSTLE! HUSTLE! YOU CANNOT LOSE THIS!" Now I'm pretty sure I knew why nobody was sitting next to Courtney. She needs to calm down.

"Courtney, calm down. It's just a race! There are other challenges, too." I said.

"God, Geoff. I never want to hear the 'C word' again! Three seasons of Chris using it every day was awful. I have officially overdosed on the words 'challenge, drama, marshmallow, campers, invincibility, gilded, barf bag, shame, dock, drop, Chris, Confessional, exciting, and interesting. As well as killer, bass, gophers, grips, gaffers, victory, amazons, campfire, bonfire, famous, million, and elimination." She informed me before sitting back down.

"Okay, then. But try to be calm and enjoy the rally, Court." I responded. The Juniors still won the race and next up was the arm-wrestling chal—I mean, _portion_ of the event.

"I should be in this." Courtney grumbled.

"Well, why aren't you?" I asked.

"Apparently I get too 'overly competitive' to compete. The Seniors would definitely win if I was in this!" she declared loudly, to the annoyance of many people around us. I guess she wasn't pretending to be how she was on the show.

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to compete! We really would win!" I agreed.

"Really? That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me since Total—the first season of the show." She admitted.

"Well, it's true!"

This was getting kind of awkward and… flirty. The Seniors were winning the arm wrestling against the Juniors, but Courtney wanted to "cheer" them on. "We can do this! GO SENIORS! BEAT THE JUNIORS!" Hey, it was a start! She wasn't quite as vulgar as before. I noticed the looks she was getting from the people around us, and figured if she was getting those dirty looks then, what the heck, she shouldn't be the only one.

"WOOHOO! Go Seniors!" the people around us, looked at me like I was crazy. Courtney, however, looked grateful. I smiled back at her and she… blushed? What? Did she like me or something? Was she embarrassed? And why were _my_ cheeks heating up? Ya know what? I did have a thing for her, I guess. It was just something about that competitive spirit. Suddenly, I didn't care if people stared at us. We were going to cheer, and as loud as we wanted.

Courtney's POV

Okay, maybe I did have a crush on Geoff. It was his laid-back and care-free attitude. I feel like we balanced each other out. We began making up our own cheers at this point and yell-cheering simultaneously, with him swinging his shirt around again, but now, I didn't mind.

We were asked to leave about five minutes later.

**I like this one! Like I said, my wonderful friend Danielle helped me come up with this idea. I like how this ended more than my Courtney/Tyler one. We thought of this during, go figure, the school pep rally. It started with the question, "What would Courtney be like at a pep rally?" Then I wondered how Geoff would be, then how they would be together, and then this happened. I am taking requests. I love my readers!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! I'm back with my first reader request, courtesy of DragonBallZOnBluRay! This one will be interesting…**

**Disclaimer: if I owned Total Drama, this might become canon! Or NoCo… OMG it could be a love pentagon! (Owen wants Izzy, Izzy wants Cody, Cody wants Izzy, Sierra and Noah want Cody… oh the fanfic I might write someday)**

**A/N: I now know why these are called crack pairings (not really)! You get this high when writing them! :) I am proud of this one! Takes place right before/during "Jamaica Me Sweat."**

**Total Drama Crack! Ch. 3**

**Cody/Izzy**

**The Secret Lovers, A.K.A. The Real, Unedited, "Jamaica Me Sweat"**

Everything was as usual on the Jumbo Jet. Sierra was stalking Cody, Cody was trying to get away, Heather and Alejandro were arguing, Izzy was hiding in the air ducts, Owen was panicking, Noah was flipping between reading and calming Owen, and so on. Nobody was sure where the next destination was, having just left Newfoundland, but there were rumors that it could be somewhere in England. [1]

While Cody was trying to get away from Sierra, he found a door to the cargo hold. The door was somewhat hidden, and apparently this cargo hold wasn't used. He doubted Sierra had even found it. He stepped inside quickly to avoid being seen. Suddenly, something moved in the shadows across the dimly lit room.

"Zeke?" Cody gasped in surprise. He was greeted by a startlingly un-human growl. Whatever, he thought.

Then he saw a much more human figure descend from the ceiling. It was hard to see who, in the dim light, but Cody guessed at who it was. He had waited to see them and they agreed that they had to see each other after the previous challenge.

"Izzy!"

"Cody!"

The two secret lovers met in a big hug, which soon turned into a kiss, which turned into making out.

"Remind me again why we can't be a public couple?" Izzy asked when they broke for air.

"I already told you, Iz. I asked Chris and apparently too many people like you and Owen together, and me chasing after Gwen. I wish we could go public!" Cody explained again.

"But we would be so cute on-screen, Cody!" Izzy exclaimed.

"I know. We would definitely be the fan favorite pairing!" Cody agreed.

"I bet Sierra would hate it…" Izzy smiled at the thought. "That would be an awesome love triangle! Even better than Gwen, Duncan, and Courtney!"

"It sure would be entertaining! Owen wanting you, Sierra wanting me, us wanting each other…" Cody trailed off, lost in thought.

"Oh, Owen and I technically aren't together. Chris is just forcing us to pretend on camera. You know, 'for ratings.'" She informed him. "We haven't been together for like two seasons."

"Chris! Why does the series have to be the way he wants it? It should at least have real couples on it! We shouldn't have to hide our love!" he yelled, forgetting about being quiet.

"Shhhh! Cody! Do you want someone to find us?" Izzy whisper-yelled. Sure enough…

"Cody-kins! Where are you? I heard your voice! Who are you talking to? Why can't I find you? Cody-kins!" Sierra said from outside the cargo hold. Cody and Izzy were absolutely silent. They couldn't afford being found out—no one knew about then yet except for Chris—and they had just found a secret meeting place. They _really _couldn't afford to be found out. Soon, though, Sierra left.

"Let's get out of here, before someone else comes!" Cody said. Before Izzy disappeared back into the air duct, he said "I'll see you later, after the elimination ceremony." He then kissed her on the cheek.

"See ya, Cody!" With that, Izzy disappeared back to first class as Cody snuck back to his team.

(The episode starts here.)

The campers had to avoid crashing with the plane as they went down in Jamaica. When Izzy landed—on Owen—she didn't even have a scratch on her. Until the plane landed on her, that is. She was then wheeled to the infirmary with Owen. Upon seeing her going in, Cody's heart broke. He didn't want her in pain, but he knew she was strong. Later, he found out that Izzy had a concussion. It was apparently pretty bad, too.

Some of the campers were able to see her one-at-a-time, with no cameras, while Owen was getting patched up in a different part of the infirmary. Cody was last to see her. He was worried because he had seen how she was with the other contestants. She turned from psycho, to genius, or so it seemed. Maybe the concussion was worse than they thought. His doubts were proven wrong soon, though.

"Cody!" the manic red-head exclaimed with joy when she saw him coming into her room.

"Izzy!" Cody said, relieved, as he ran to her bedside and embraced her. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?" he asked quickly.

"Cody, I'm fine!" she insisted. "All I have is a little headache."

"Then why is your head all bandaged up?" he asked worriedly.

"For 'drama.' Chris said 'it would be more believable this way.' Whatever 'it' is, I have no idea, but it is the same with the whole 'genius' act. You should really ask him. He won't answer me." She informed Cody.

"Well, I'm just glad you're okay!" he said before they embraced again. "I'll ask Chris as soon as I can, I promise!"

"I know you will, Cody. You should probably leave, though. I think Owen's coming back!" Izzy said.

"Fine, but I'll see you later!" Cody said before he kissed her. He then said "I love you." It caused both teens to blush.

"I love you too, Cody." She said tenderly, caressing his face. "Now go!" And Cody ran out. Sure enough, Owen was wheeled in right after he left.

"Hey, Izzy. How's your head?" Owen asked.

"Greetings, carbon-based life form known as 'Owen.' I do not believe my cerebral cortex suffered the necessary allotment of damage to critically impair judgment or motor skills, so I do believe I have been spared much injury." Izzy answered.

Owen was speechless. He figured she got hit hard, but he didn't think it was this bad. "Okay, well I hope you feel better." He said kindly, not that he still had feelings for her—they broke it off a while ago—but because he was worried that she was really hurt.

"My appreciations, Owen."

"Okay…" he was really confused. "Well, you might want to get that checked out."

"Indeed." Izzy was then wheeled off by an intern.

The contestants then came to visit Owen. Owen wanted to see them all at once, though, instead of one by one. When they were exiting the infirmary, Cody felt a tap on his arm.

"Cody?"

"Chris? How's Izzy?" Cody worriedly asked Chris. He was the only one that knew of their relationship.

"She's fine, but I need to talk to the both of you. Come on." Chris said as he pulled Cody towards where Izzy was.

"Listen, you two. I don't have much time before people get suspicious, so I'll make it quick." Chris began.

"Make what quick? It isn't like you've told us anything yet." Izzy pointed out.

"I know, and this'll explain everything." Chris took a deep breath and continued. "I can't have both of you on the show anymore. Sierra is always suspicious, and she almost found you two. Yeah, I had cameras back there." He said, noticing their shocked faces. "Believe me, I don't want either of you leaving. You are two of the fan-favorite campers. But we can't have you be an on-screen couple. Izzy, I'm having you act like a genius so that when you leave nobody will suspect this is why. Same with your head."

"You mean, Izzy is leaving?" Cody asked, crushed.

"No! I won't leave my Cody!" Izzy yelled.

"Shush! Basically, it will look like the 'SWAT' team will take you away on account of your insanely smart brain. We will have to edit the episode so it looks like you and Owen are in the same room, because we can't wheel you back in time." Chris explained quickly.

"What do you mean, 'can't wheel you back in time?'" Cody asked.

Just then, the "SWAT" team—actors playing the SWAT team, that is—busted through the ceiling of the infirmary.

"No! Izzy!" Cody cried above the roar of the helicopter.

"Cody!" she cried back.

As Izzy was lifted out of the roof and pulled into the helicopter—and Chris was realizing how much editing this would take—Cody had tears in his eyes, and so did Izzy. Unbeknownst to either teen, once Izzy was inside watching through the window, they said simultaneously:

"I love you."

[1] They were going to England but had to stop in Jamaica for fuel, like in the episode.

**I definitely like this one most. I wrote it and I am just about in tears now. I love this couple! I am taking request for slash and non-slash couples so please request! (Anything except Dott. I hate Scott.) I will try to do as many requests as I can, and if I don't do some of them, it is simply because I couldn't think of something to write for that pairing. I will attempt them all, though! I already have some awesome requests! I love my readers!**


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